Kung Fu Bear Necessities

Further to my post, ‘Buck Rogers’  and the exent of national, nay global interest in said bear; I’m afraid I  just don’t get it. Perhaps, I’m having a bad day… bad year … bad life. But no: hold on, let’s give it another chance and view again. Everybody ready. Let’s go!

Yeah, you see, again I barely get past a smirk, and that’s only at the thought of the fact that his stances are so poor that it seems to suggest our bear wouldn’t know what a Martial Art was, even if it jumped up, executing as it did so a spinning hook kick to his temple and in a swiftness of an eye blink, Bang! a turning kick to the other side. Then just for good measure, bit him on the arse (or ‘ass’)

No, as he twiddles his poles in an almost ‘wooden’ pattern (if you’ll pardon the pun) which has ever such a slight suggestion of ‘post production’ trickery about it, our bear has only one thing on his mind. You can almost hear him:

‘Look for the bare necessities
The simple bare necessities
Forget about your worries and your strife
I mean the bare necessities
Old Mother Nature’s recipes

Look for the bare necessities
The simple bare necessities
Forget about your worries and your strife
I mean the bare necessities
Old Mother Nature’s recipes …’

Now I’m begining to chuckle. Poor Alan. What would he have thought? Are bears any good at maths?

Buck Rogers

Jesus. Here we are, speeding towards the middle of the Twenty first century. Remember how it was pictured when we were kids ? We’ll all live perfectly happy lives in towers of apartments, wearing sexy, but practical …. Hmmm, actually not  practical at all, spandex suits and fly to work in rockets and space ships which look suspiciously like re-modelled 1950s cars. Instead, we live pretty much like we always have done – Flared trousers continue to make regular comebacks, you can still get VIMTO, yet we have ready access to a technology our grandparents couldn’t have dreamt of, let alone understood ….

and what do we do with it? This immense information super highway, this democratising, border and frontier defying (as long as you’re near an AC power source or suitable rechargeable lithium battery) government-crushing, people-empowering phenomenon…this…this…this… awe-inspiring tool of the common man?

We send each other You Tube crap like

Alan Turing will be turning in his grave (to demonstrate his powerful Back-Kick no doubt)

Note: Anything which encourages a reprise of  one of many ’70s low points Carl Douglas’ “Kung Fu Fighting” is doomed in my book.

© Andy Daly  2010