A Joke

… And that’s how Bobby Womack ended up writing “Breezin'”, but has never recorded it himself.

Now then, where was I’ve written ‘Lancaster Cathedral’ down on this piece of paper, what’s that all about?

  • Ah yes, a joke.

Once upon a time my Dad went to a sunday service at Lancaster Cathedral as he often does, where they just happened to be renovating one of the doors. The congregation was swelled by group of Spanish tourists from San Sebastian (in the Northern Basque territory) One of the priests is an ex-pupil of my Dad’s and so they lingered a bit to chat, and generally chew the fat.

Watching people leave through the only available door, result of the works. The priest had noticed that the Spanish group  had managed to clog the door as they filtered out, still taking photos.

As quick as a flash and dry as you like, he says “That’s what you get when you put all your Basques in one exit!”

© Andy Daly 2016

All photos from Lancaster Cathedral Blogspot

One Size Fits All Joke

I thought you might like to amuse yourselves with this ‘One Size Fits All’ joke, while you wait patiently for ‘Getting A Kick Out Of Picasso’.

Instructions: Say the following (preferably to an audience)

“Hey, this pasta isn’t ‘al dente’ … ” Then add punchline provided … “Its Al Pacino”

It may work best if you can use it in some stereotypical Italian/pasta context, but this is not essential. Give it a try yourself, now. First-timers, take  it slowly. It’s trickier than it looks. Remember that the key to greatiming comedy is.

All done? Wonderful. Now below is your introductory set of punchlines. Use them as you see best: where you think they will get the most laughs.

Or, don’t use them at all. Think of your own punchlines. It’s even more fun

“Hey, this pasta isn’t ‘al dente’ It’s:

Al Jolson    Al Gore    Al Murray     al-Qa’ida    Aldi

Alcoholics Anonymous    Al Green (‘Let me say that si-i-i-ince, since we’ve been together…etc’)

Al day and al of the night    Al Jancovic (Man is he weird)    Alabama

Al Di Meola    Ali float like a butterfly, Sting like a bee    Ali Baba and his 40 corrupt British Politicians

Al Capone (‘guns don’t argue …’)    Aluminium    Al get that later

Bollocks to this I’m off to bed.