After the unseemly incident with the beige overcoat, Chawkey, Wiz and Self   lived  in Sudbury Town in virtual domestic bliss with frequent visits from Neilio, and the Redcar Girls, including T Bag and Netty.

Not only that, but we sub-let the box room to ‘Dirty Dave’, a trainee Bank Manager who worked in Wembley. He aquired this nickname because that summer, when we were all away T Bag (AKA Tracey) took up residence in the house as she needed a place to stay, doing a work experience placement in London. ‘Dirty Dave’ was  in attendance.

One night after a shower for reasons best known to himself, lounging around in the front room in his dressing gown ‘Dirty Dave’ decided it would be a good idea to show Tracey his ‘tent’ and how pleased he was with it. He should have known better.

Tracey was more than a match for the amorous advances of some public school Billy Bunter Bank Manager. In fact she was quite capable of snapping his head off at the neck with a single satisfying chocolate bar advert style chomp then using her tongue, force his brains out through the ears, crunching the whole filthy lot up with a few fat chews, and gobbing it into the gutter.

But not before blowing a big grey bubble, which when it burst would send his cerebral goo all over the place.

You didn’t mess with ‘The Redcar Girls’

‘Less it will yers’ The Redcar Girls dressed as Biffa and the rest of the Bacon Family.