Here I was minding my own business, being agreeably insomniac, when all of a sudden I’m having these dreams. And not only that, but recurring dreams too. I never have recurring dreams: I’ve had ‘The Old Hag’ dream and woken up to find her sitting on my chest (I’ll tell you about it one day) but never recurring dreams.
So it was that in the first of these dreams I found myself having to produce a life sized copy of the Hindu Temple in Neasden North London, or perhaps more correctly The BAPS Shri Swaminarayan Mandir; Europe’s first traditional Hindu temple. My task was not only to do this, but to do it with flatpack furniture. No easy feat I can tell you, when all they give you is one stupid Allen (Hex) key and no instructions.
Then the following night it was but a stone’s throw away … Okay 20 minutes by car (presumably – I was asleep) and to Perivale. The subject was Wallis, Gilbert & Partners’ wonderful Art Deco masterpiece, The Hoover Factory on the Western Avenue (A40) My construction materials for the night were packed in brown card boxes and were stamped IEKA. What a headache. Every boxed item had a silly name, like Sküm and Tossa. I couldn’t tell my Arsse from my Elbö. In the dream, however, I managed it OK. It just took us 4 hours to get back in the traffic.
Then night three and Tower Bridge. I had to use end-of-line bits and pieces from Do-It-All and B & Q. There wasn’t enough stuff! I told them I would need more shelf brackets and door hinges but they didn’t listen. If you look closely you will see my Grade One listed building has no back. Also, Do-It-All and especially B & Q need to sort out their warehousing.
Last night, and after the North London temple, this was the toughest task: St Paul’s Cathedral. I had to complement the main construction with at least two from the hundreds of really interesting buildings tucked away in that sort of triangle created by Bishop’s Gate, Newgate St. and then down to the river. I was really disappointed with this one: I left out ‘The Whispering Gallery! Can you believe it? My other two very rushed offerings were in the shape of a poorly scaled St Mary le Bow and a lopsided Bank of England. Finding drawer fronts that weren’t already marked or scratched was a problem.
What would Freud have made of it all?
So just what would Freud, that interpreter of dreams, explorer of the unconscious, architect of psychoanalysis – himself a North London resident for the last few years of his life, have made of this?
Well for my money, I reckon he would have taken off either to Highgate Ponds and the surrounding area on Hampstead Heath, or Parliament Hill, located in the south east corner of Hampstead Heath, and a vertigo-inducing 322 feet high. From here, or hereabouts, he would have had good views variously of Kenwood House, Keat’s House, The Spaniards and the Old Bull and Bush.
(Kenwood House: A museum of food mixers here)
In the other direction, although unlikely to have been able to see the river, he would otherwise have had much of the city of London laid out before him: Regents Park, St. Marylebone Church, Westminster ahead, To the east The Monument and St. Pauls. Closer, and those symbols of mercantile might, the railway stations: George Gilbert Scott’s St. Pancras, an exceptional example of the Gothic Revival, flanked by Kings Cross and Euston. Together they presented an unequivocal statement of intent by the railway companies. To the West, and moving away from the ‘dirty’ money – soiled as it were, by work and toil, the relative calm and tranquility of the Palace and Royal Parks.
Think of the possibilities he had – The Houses of Parliament made using empty carbolic soap boxes, The Monument using packets of tea, and Sloane’s liniment bottles, The Old Bailey, a triumph of Soda Syphons and their cases, Kenwood House with timber pilfered from the rail depot at Finchley Road.
You know, in the light of this, I’m of the opinion that we ought to look at dreams and what they mean in a lot more detail.
What do you think? Send in your ideas. Use the comment space after this post.
(Pic. credits: 1, Wikipedia 2, Blinking Charlie)
© Andy Daly 2011
Disturbingly funny! My book of dreams states the obvious.
Maybe a trip to a museum would help? The Geffrye Museum shows the changing style of the English domestic interior in a series of period rooms from 1600 to the present day. KINGSLAND ROAD, LONDON, E2 8EA
The Avoncroft Museum is home to over 27 different structures which have been rescued and re-built in rural Worcestershire. The Museum is spread over 19 acres and includes a wildflower meadow, period gardens, a traditional cider and perry orchard as well as the collection of buildings.
Just don’t go to IKEA (unless you fancy meatballs).
Now, a museum would be jolly good therapy methinks, somewhere like the open air museum down on the Downs; oh whassit called? You know , the one with all the buildings. Ah that’s it!
TheWeald & Downland Open Air Museum
http://www.wealddown.co.uk/. (Thanks Google)
Glad you found it ‘disturbingly’ funny – it was meant to be. But look out a trip to IKAE is in the offing!!
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