Now last night I just get back from a blinding holiday in a place called Italy. And I wish to say I never see a prettier sight, what with trees and birds and bushes called vines.
In this Italy they are pretty big into churches, cathedrals and suchlike; and where you find churches and cathedrals you can take odds at six to four on that you will also find plenty of pictures. I’m no expert but I reckon they are painted hundreds of years ago to keep the punters awake. You know when the sermon gets a bit boring and they get to thinking I am sure I hear the same thing last week, they might find their eyes wandering over pictures of scenes from the life of Jesus, St. John the Baptist and other famous Italians.
But exercise caution, as wherever you find paintings, you are almost certain to find sculpures too. Sculptures are 3D pictures and are generally the things you trip over as you stand back to admire a picture.
We are staying at the Masaccio Art Centre (Masaccio being a famous artist who invented the camera) which is high up on a hillside near Poggibonsi – or ‘Podgy Beyonce’ as some of our party are apt to call it – Now although I call this a holiday, it is anything but. The general idea being that we (that is to say me and my thirteen colleagues) spend our days painting the Tuscan landscape and all that we find therein. Well this is a tall order in my view. Personally I think instead of paying for the priviledge of tackling such a tricky task, we should be on a decent hourly rate, given all the things we have to do, such as mixing paints and whatnot.
Our teacher is an amiable guy by the name of Gary, who it seems does a fair bit of ‘smudge with the sludge’ in his day. In fact I am in the Art teaching dodge myself for some years, although the last thing I paint is a garden shed and by that I mean a garden shed and not a picture of one.
The trouble really starts when we begin to use oil paint. This infernal stuff takes decades to dry and seems to magic itself onto my shirt, trousers, hair and into my ears. I begin to get a reputation (unjustly in my view ) as a messy worker and a horder of materials and equipment.
‘Where’s the Yellow Ochre?’ ‘Andy’s got it’ ‘Where’s the Alizarin Crimson?’ ‘ Don’t know, but if you look on Andy’s desk…’
Then, horror of horrors. It is announced we have an exhibition to show our work at the end of the course. Now needless to say, my paintings are clearly the work of an idiot who is messing around and not listening when he should be and so appropriate action is taken. To whit, I knock out a few abstracts and even go as far as sticking red ‘sold’ labels on some of them in an attempt to generate some interest.
Unfortunately, at the exhibition private view, the only interest I generate is that of a daffy English doll who lives in the village; or more accurately lives in the bar in the village and who is 102 if she is a day. Cut her and she bleeds Chianti. On top of which she is a Know It All.
But despite this I have a blast and hope the others do too.
that sounds fab Andy, could do with a bit of that myself mate, although my week in Scotland drawing the highlands toped with snow takes some beating. Glad you had such a good time, life should always be that way.
Murph it was a blast. Great surroundings – everywhere you looked it was a painting. Great tutor, who spent time with you when you needed it, great food. It was just the best time ever. Wish you could have been with us.
I am intensely jealous. It sounds right up my street, but, alas, two small children and a husband might object if I spend all of my car fund on a painting holiday :-S
Your time will come! Keep the faith. For years I believed my life was finished. I never thought I’d be able to do something like this. DBS has made all the difference. It is not perfect, by any means, but for the time being it will do me.
This is why I used to drag you to United .Tell me that anything you saw was better than United v Barca all those years ago ! I quite like sculpture
It’s a tough one. The deciding factor probably has to be whether you are lucky enough to step into a taxi immediately afterwards.
You haven’t mentioned them Giant White Heads what you painted into your Tuscan landscapes.
I agree that your reputation as a hoarder of materials was unjustified, you only had the stuff 8 out of 10 times.
Will always remember sitting in the Campo with you and Marion. Good Times.
Your neighbour-in the-studio, Maggie
It is a good point well made Maggie. I can assure you I think very carefully about mentioning my white heads in the Tuscan landscape, but figure I do quite enough damage as it is to lovers of Art – especially of the Tuscan landscape variety. I have a wonderful time too, so much so that I even think Good Times might be a bit of an understatement, though I reckon 8 out of 10 is a little harsh.
So you enjoyed your self then.
Without question. What brings you from your gallery far far away great Obi Wan?
We ( you, Marion, Paul and I ) need to meet up soon for some reminiscing – we are going to Matthew’s open studio this Saturday – looking forward to seeing what he’s been up to – should be interesting. We are trying to keep up this art lark – I’ve just enrolled us to do some life drawing in burlesque style …….
Your northern mate from Tuscany